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| Jesse Higgins' CandisArt testimony... |
February 26th, 2009 |
In Zechariah 10:1, Zechariah writes:
“Ask the Lord for rain in the Springtime;
it is the Lord who makes the storm clouds.
He gives showers of rain to men,
and plants of the field to everyone.”
I hadn’t recognized the blessings I’d been given throughout my life at the beginning of last Spring. Love, grace, Christian, Jesus – these words that had no meaning to me that I’d either misinterpreted, disregarded or blasphemed when they left my mouth; a forsaking that formed the irreverent core of who I was. My life was futile and the way I lived was ugly. I looked and I saw no hope. In short, I had been overcome by darkness both within and without.
Then something happened – I’d write about it here but I think I’d run out of room – and the God I’d denied showed how gently He’d been carrying me, how often He protected me from this thing I’d become, and how fiercely He would fight for the lost, even His loudest mocker. And something broke inside of me. Something tangible I hadn’t noticed before that moment. That June, in a house of prayer, I stood in front of a group of Christians and prayed a simple prayer. I said “Lord, I used to laugh at the Jesus Freaks, but today I’m in a room full of them and today I’m one of them.”
Three months before that moment I had accepted the Lord in a Lethbridge basement. “The Lord is calling for you, Jesse,” and yes, yes He was and I finally recognized His voice. Recognized that sound I’d been haunted by for over twenty-two years. That sound inside of everyone. So I went upstairs and I became my turmoil. What had I done? Who was this Jesus I’d just accepted? Was this just another fake thing? And I faced myself in that moment. I remember watching half of me run for the door to return to what I’d been and half of me looking for a way to stay with these kind people. And then He showed it to me...
I hadn’t met Candice at that point, but the Lord confronted me with one of her paintings. So I stopped within a choice I couldn’t make, found myself sitting down on a couch and I stared at that painting. I didn’t know Candice, but in that moment the Lord used her to keep me home... Grateful is a word that comes to mind. How much does our God love us that He’d make those types of moments for us time and time again despite our constant rejection and our disbelief? How much? And profound is another word I think of. I think ‘profound’ because the title of the painting I stared at is “Spiritual War: Destiny vs Abortion.”
I had died so many deaths. I had lived so many lies. An abortion stacked upon abortions is a metaphor that describes me as I was. And I sat there looking at a painting of me, absorbing a prayer for my generation, and although I didn’t know that at the time, I just sat there as I was: just another fetus blessed with the presence of a God it doesn’t know despite the snake that seeks destruction. It makes sense to me now, though: protected and borne by the Great Deliverer of men.
During those long minutes the Lord used Candice’s painting to save my life. I know this because I lived it and because I lived it I can say with confidence that Candice’s art is a blessing from my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
So yes, the storms will come. The rain will soak us and leave us chilled. But the Lord is our salvation, and when we recognize Him in those clouds and acknowledge the clouds as the Gift they are, we hear Abundance ask to mend our broken lives and we see our Harvest waiting in the field. And to be written in The Book of Life... incredible.
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